Psychologist: a valuable ally of the judge to determine the residence of the child

The Point.fr - published 06/08/2012 08: 59 read in the silences, decipher the unspoken and the gestures of the children of divorce: it is also the work of the psychologist.

Photo illustration © Florence Durand / Sipa

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By Jean-Christophe Lefevre

François broke his Pacs after three years. Today, this senior official faces casts of separation. "My children were also heard by the judge with a counsel of children." "My daughter asked to stay with his mother and my son has expressed his will to live with me." Except that concerning the young 12-year-old girl, everything is not so clear. "Before one of the psychologists, she drew her mother without eyes, which shows that she is disturbed", is concerned about François.

With the separation of his parents, the child doubt that it is the fruit of love. Especially when the couple postponed his own narcissistic injuries on him. To understand its needs and choose the solution the more "correct" as to its mode of residence, the judge is surrounded by experts. Virginia Ysmal-Guerton, a clinical psychologist, is involved in marital conflict to deliver his light on such situations. The ritual is every time the same. The psychologist first met individually each of the members of the family. Then it dialogue with the child. "It decrypts the felt and the way in which he saw the parental conflict," she observed.

The psychologist the questions on "mundane" elements of daily life (school, mistress, his extracurricular activities, etc.) and the relationship he has with his peers. "This allows us to know if the child is isolated, which is an indicator of its anxiety or depressive trend", it decrypts.

Dialogue by design

To establish dialogue, the psychologist installs a relationship of trust. "The design is a good mediator in the State of mind of the child." It provides guidance on how he sees himself, or he perceives his relatives. He can show the fears or concerns if, for example, he represents his parents all in black or if it is in one of them the shape of a monster, says Virginia Ysmal-Guerton. "Drawing provides also information about graphic motor of the child, on his stage of development or personal construction."

The psychologist strives also to detect the famous "parental alienation syndrome", attributed to the parent with whom the child lives and to dismiss the other. Main signals are the words and expressions of adults used by the child, a speech shifted as "my dad would never took me when I was six months", or a refusal to see the other parent's stubborn and not motivated. "The child will not want to betray this parent who is all-powerful in his mind." "Because if he betrayed him, he thinks that he remains more person," says Virginia Ysmal-Guerton.

In young children, the psychologist observed that the parental conflict results in sometimes a decrease or modification of benchmarks. A fortiori when these children move in reconstituted families. "For example, they call their stepfather followed the name of the adult papa." However, to build, the child is in need of clear benchmarks. "A dad, he did that."